It's 3.05am now. I cant sleep well in these days. I really cant stand for it.
But I guess I grew stronger now.
Let's see..
First of all, I feel sorry to my mum that I coudn't study as well as what I can do. I know I can do it better but nowadays, I have losted my focus on my study. I REALLY DO.
Maybe exam pressure is the main part..
I fail to be my mum's daughter, I failed to be my sister's baby sister. How I wish I can be as tough as them when I facing fussy problems.
Sorry for not being well. ;(
I doesn't prepare well for my trial. I REALLY DO. Well, I guess every Form5 student had been well-prepared. Don't say NO, at least better than me!
Hey man, Its fcking TRIAL weyy. I need good result to apply good college as well. So fcked up with this. Fine! The biggest worst thing is, I feel frust with something which is not worth with it. I mean, compare to my TRIAL, this is a NOTHING.
Yet, it really turn me upside down all the time.
I had tried my best to focus on my study. But I failed! Those thing keep popping out during my revision session, what I can do is, Ahhhhhh! Let's give it up (my study). WTF is this?
This is me.
When I feel frust, I feel sorry to my mum because I can't finish my exam syllabus then I feel frust (again). Does it make sense?
Ahhh! Idk how to explain in words. My english is too poor. -.-
Okay, allow me to skip this part.
Alright, I'm fcking foolish I have to admit. hahahahahar! Laugh at me, LAUGH!
I used to be fooled by ppl who I used my true heart to looking at. Guess what? okay, I don't mind to help my friend do this do that, but what I mind is, ppl USING me! Friends are used to be helping each other indeed! But wait, is HELPING EACH OTHER. DO you get me? hmm?
okay, maybe you'll feel I'm so childish to mind this kinda thing. No, It's not as simple as what you thought. LOL
I REALLY DON'T MIND TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, but what I DEMAND is, PAY ME BACK WITH A TRUE HEART FRIEND. Can you? No, I don't think so.
Oh well, from now on, I've nothing with you ppl alr. You gonna fck off from my life. and BUYBYE my friend :D
Do you feel offended? Yea, you are the one who I am talking about then.
Okay, I have to admit, thr's still a bunch of great friends I'm having. :) love you ppls max!
When you ruined the last chance, thr's no turning back. Or maybe, You doesn't appreciate at all. IDK :D
I just hung up the call with Esther Love. Finally, I can rant out loud all the things keep in my mind which drives me crazy, desperate, frust and idcare wtf else. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! so great!
Then she know why my pressure is so fcking big nowadays. LOL
I can tahan so long, I real geng alr.
Guess I can sleep well tonight because I've nothing with it alr.
Yea, pray hard I wont forget what I've told her tonight. I'll hold it till the end of my SPM. *crossfinger*
It's about time to focus on my study. It's too late for my trial but I think I can do well for my SPM.
Bad memory fade away, fade away.... shooooooo~shooooooo~
It's time to be mature.....
**
AhLian, continue to DO whatever shit you like, ACT whatever shit you wants to be. I wont fcking give a damn ANYMORE. :D *peace*
life is too short to make up with REGRETS. You don't regret one day!
Since you want IT so badly, go get one la! I'll hold my arm and see what you'll get after me. *crossfinger&prayhardhard*
You don't expect so much, you are not THE type. LOL
I feel that I'm so childish to busy with you. ahhh! Bless you. :P
I just realised, I DAMN FCKING FOOLISH. Uhmmm, not too late? :D
Okay, I learn from mistake. This is what my mum taught me. :)
Mummy always warm my heart whenever she know I need it.
thanks mum! Its really touching. But it reflected how fail I am to be your daughter. ;(
But I know you'll always right thr for me. :)
Having a tough time, you'll know who are friends are who are not.
BBs, you girls are awesome!
thanks for spending time to listen me complaint shits thing.
Chloe, you know you can do it. DO it well :D
I grew stronger, I guess...
ps, hai shi xie xie ni, rang wo zhang da le, bian jian qiang le. kan qing chu zhe shi shen mo shi jie. :)
It's 3.41am alr. time to bed. I can sleep well alr.
Chloe.xoxo
sorry for the rude words I'm having in this post. My mind is blurr alr.
